Emotional Reasoning, a logical fallacy, is defined a believing your feelings are facts and refusing or being unable take information contradicting your feelings. Feeling something is true does not mean it is.
Emotional Intelligence requires thinking with your brain as well as your heart. Hard to do particularly when so many tell you your heart is always right.
I feel fat, therefore, I am fat no matter what the doctor thinks.
I don’t like you, therefore, you must be unlikable.
I want her to love me, so I know in her heart she does: she is just trying to make me jealous by going out with other guys and not accepting a date with me.
I did something stupid, therefore, I am stupid.
The more passionate the feeling, the closer it is to your heart, and the more likely you will by pass your brain. What to do?
- When dealing with issues that matter or lead to actions you regret recognize emotion is bossing you.
- Take a time out from acting when emotions are running high.
- Use your self-soothing skills to create calm. The stronger your self-soothing skills, the better you survive life’s pain. Take time to download and read Emotional Fitness Training’s Tiny e-Book Self-Soothing. Or buy this more complete book Self-soothing Create Calm In Your Life.
- When calm, ask yourself “What if other points of view are true?” “What if I am wrong?” “What if my heart’s desire is only a desire?”
- Seek points of view that disagree with yours and learn from them so you can act more wisely.
- Work daily to improve your critical thinking skills. Watch television to see how they ad-people promote emotion over reason. In any debate you are involved in or witness look for how each side uses emotional reasoning.
Thank you and stay strong.
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