First or surface thoughts are almost always driven by primitive survival needs; moreover, the stronger the feeling, the more it calls for you to act without thought. Acting without thought is encouraged by those who tell you to “Follow Your Heart.” Okay in many situations, but if you end up doing things you regret, hurting others unintentionally, or getting in trouble with the law, you need to think more deeply, be for acting.
Emotional Fitness Tips
Tip one: Make a list of those times you get in trouble because you act too quickly or without thinking a bit. Do not forget the times good feelings lead you astray.
Tip two: Look for the feelings behind strong feelings that create trouble for you. Four feelings are at the root of most feelings
- Fear of pain
- Uncertainty which is often fear of pain, particularly of psychological pain such as a loss of self-esteem or a challenge to cherished beliefs.
Tip three: Beef up your self soothing skills so you can think first and then act, more wisely and instead of reacting in ways you regret. EFTI’s eBook Self-Soothing To Create Calm In Your Life is a best buy at under $3.00 and more calming than a latte.
Tip four: Beef up your awareness of how thoughts get twisted. Start by thinking more deeply when someone is trying to sell you something; that something could be a new car, who to vote for, or when to have another drink.
Tip five: The experts agree, acting wisely in the face of a strong feeling is best done by doing the opposite of what the feeling suggests. Anger wants you to fight; making peace is wiser. Fear wants you to run, standing up to fear is wiser; Pleasure wants more; moderation and less is wiser. Pain seeks release, useful but thoughtful release is best, not mindlessly downing another pain pill.
Tip six: As always, Remember what matters.
Thank You For All You Do
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This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt Surface
LINKS OF INTEREST
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)