WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM A MISTAKE? My brain has a glitch, two glitches in fact. First, things reverse–numbers, letters. For some reason that doesn’t mean problems when I read. Maybe because I was taught sight reading and not phonics–a fad at the Media Schools when I was learning to read. I cannot sound words out, so some names get massacred, but I can read. One study showed that you don’t need to see or know all the letters in a word to read it. So reading is not a problem, I am fast and I understand what I read and remember most of it.
The reversals are a problem in math and writing. Try getting a correct answer in a simple math problem where you see 12 as 21 or 15 as 51. Only numbers like 11 or 22 or 33 won’t blind side you. The official name for this glitch is dyscalcula My reversals also translate into a writing disorder called dysgraphia. I can write a simple word like “the” in all the following ways: het or hte or eth or teh or eht. Not helpful. Dysgraphia also presents as trouble spelling in general, poor handwriting with a tendency to print some letters and write others. Yes, that me.
The second glitch involves memory. I have an excellent procedural memory and narrative memory. I cannot, however, remember facts in isolation. Number facts–forget them. Rules of grammar–forget them. Chemical formulas? Ha.
So mistakes are as much a part of me as my skin. And yes, they have provided lessons. But I would have preferred to have learned less painfully, Anyway, let me list what I learned:
- I was not like others
- No matter how much I tried I wasn’t going to get what I wanted
- Practice does not work
- Life is not fair
- You don’t die of shame or embarrassment
- To avoid what I couldn’t do and concentrate on what I could do
- To be grateful it wasn’t worse.
- To be very grateful when word processing and computers entered my life for I love to write and they made sharing my writing possible
- That in a lot of things good enough is good enough.
- That life goes on.
With all my heart I wish this brain glitch didn’t exist. I suffered and my sons suffered and we are now waiting to see if my sons’ sons will suffer. When I was in school learning disabilities had not yet been named, and there was less pressure back them to be an academic achiever. Shame is more of a problem today and your difference is broadcast when you get that label special need. Shame remains a problem for me as for anyone who is different in one way or another. One of the things that is not fair about life. I haven’t felt in tip top shape today and am grumpy. Writing this has made me a bit bitter. So it goes. This post is not even good enough. But it is and that’s all for now folks. Share, care, stay strong.