WHAT DRIVES ME NUTS: The ease with which so many people accept false and mis-information. It helps to remember that most of what we know personally is probably 95% bias driven and by most estimates often partially, not at all true, or minimally unproven. Take the idea of getting to heaven so you can live forever. Rumors suggest Jesus came back from death; sorry my Christian friends–it is a rumor. More destructive is the added on belief that by faith alone you can be saved and that you are obligated to seek converts. Then there is the other idea that by blowing people up you get to heaven and will be greeted by virgins who will provide you with ever lasting happiness. That’s the biggest source of my nut gathering.
Then there is the small driving me nuts issues. The biggiest one is actually related to the above. What is it? My husband’s need to question every thing and mostly every thing I say. See how that is related, I want people to question more; but I don’t want my husband to always question me. It is the way his mind works and it works harder at his questioning as he has aged.
Here’s an example, we are driving and expected to be somewhere on time. He admits to a terrible sense of direction while agreeing I have a much better sense of how to get somewhere on time. Does that mean he turns left when I suggest turning left. Absolutely not. Well, maybe sometimes, but only after questioning me and doing reluctantly what I suggest. He does the same thing with our GPS. Small comfort and after all the woman there can’t hear him questioning her and apparently she does not get tired of saying “Re-calculating. ”
Just had a good example. He is making his lunch, says, “We are almost out of bread.” Two slices remain in the loaf on the table. I say, “There’s a loaf of Rye Bread in the freezer. ” He goes to the freezer and says “I don’t see it.” I get up and get the frozen loaf out of the freezer. He says, “Sour mood, I’m going to get a hair cut.” I say “My sour mood or yours?” “Not mine” he said, “All I did was say we needed bread, you made it an issue.”
I want to scream which leads me to by next question. The assumption is that venting makes you feel better. Well, I am venting and it is heating up my anger. Venting only works when someone agrees with your venting, makes you feel you are right. Rarely happens in relationships. Having stayed married to a man who can drive me nuts has been possible because I try not to vent. I would have been better in the above scenario to just say “Yes, dear.” He’s not going to change.
This was a minor skirmish. Major ones can lead to Gotcha Wars. and I started a Wiki-How thread on how to win those. Read it, learn when not to vent. Stay strong and let the squirrels gather nuts.
Topic #30 What’s going on in your life right now that’s driving you nuts?