“At my age, I’ve seen it all, heard it all, done it all, but mostly forgotten it all.” Practice this EFT exercise, forget the bad and Hold On to the Good.
Because our brains are survival based, bad memories are more firmly embedded than good ones. What makes it worse is the bad ones often come on like 911 calls. What to do? Work harder to hold on to the good ones.
Tip one: create and keep a memory book. Life is often a struggle. A Memory Book honors our struggles, reminds us we are strong and helps us keep only the good ones. A Memory Book is more than a photograph album. A Memory Book is a way of making sense of life and how it changes.
Some Memory Books are one page long, others hold only a few pages stapled together, others cover a life time and get housed in expensive leather covers.
Size is not as important as what the book holds. One page holding the right memories is often worth more than a hundred pages of pictures that carry little meaning. A picture is worth a 1000 words but pictures plus some words are priceless.
Tip two: Create a good memory brain file. This is done by creating some sanctuaries, first in your home, and then in your mind.
Tip three: Use the above tips to regularly practice EFT’s Hold On to the Good Exercise. Here are the steps to that exercise:
- Go to a physical sanctuary. Some think of their bed as a sanctuary and do this exercise at night before falling asleep.
- Consciously relax by spending a minute tensing and then releasing all your body. Start at your head and work down section by section.
- Take a Calming Breath.
- Go to your Imaginary Sanctuary. For some this is best done by picturing it in your mind; others do better describing themselves there.
- Review the day. Say good-by to the bad things, embrace all that was good.
- Take a Calming Breath when you are ready to end the exercise.
Parenting tip one: Parents start a child’s Memory Book, but as soon as possible, the child should be part of creating hers or his Memory Books, These will often be a page or a smaller book. When collected these pages and smaller books become larger Memory Books or become part of a Family’s Memory Book.
Memory Books can be made for many things–baby’s first day home, first steps, special people, special days, ordinary days, marriages, graduations, vacations, all good things.
Parenting tip two: Parents must keep Memory Books safe. Some teens have thrown away a Memory Book and in time, deeply regretted doing so.
Parenting tip three: Include bad times once they have passed for bad tiems teach lessons. The lessons? Bad times that have passed teach the idea that life is full of change, good times come and then go; the same with bad times. Second lesson: how strong we are. Review the Honor Your Strength Exercise.
TODAY’ CRITICAL THINKING PROMPT Emotional Fitness is about thinking critically or about what matters. Daily prompts of any sort, push you to think more clearly, so you act with wisdom as well as passion.
Here is s today’s from WordPress – New Skin: If you could spend the next year as someone radically different from the current “you” — a member of a different species, someone from a different gender or generation, etc. — who would you choose to be?
As I suspect most of us do not want to be a different me. I might like a few things different, but I am happy in my skin. Took a long time to feel that way, true for most of us. Here are a few reasons why I did not love me as a teen: I was learning disabled, math blind and not able to spell or punctuate properly. At the same time I was a bit of a geek when that was not so hot. I wore glasses, had buck teeth, and was far too skinny when it was better to be a bit voluptuous. I was sure I would never find someone to love me or even ask me out on a date. I would have made a deal with the devil to be popular; fortunately, he didn’t offer to work with me.
Emotional Fitness thoughts: about wanting to be someone else: Wanting to be someone else means you are not happy with you. An expected life stage for school aged children who begin to realize how much they do not control or know. Then come the teen years, when you begin to see yourself as you are and measure yourself against society’s standards. Particularly, hard many of today’s teens as the media standards are too high for most of us to reach.
What to do? STAR in your life. Get real, do not let the media hypnotize you into thinking who you are is less than good. How? by remembering what matters. What matters? Not how you look, how much money you have,how bright you are, the job you have, how happy you are. What matters is practicing kindness and that option is open to all.
I practice it by sharing free downloads of many EFTI’s poster coaches at the EFTIstore. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.
You practice Internet kindness every time you like, comment or share someones’ post. I feel good when I support my internet friends. Even small kinesses strengthen you.
Stay strong, I work at it every day and still have moments of weakness and regret, but manage most of the time to enjoy what can be enjoyed, act wisely, forgive myself and others, and practice kindness.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- Make a Memory Book (easyfamilyreunion.com)
- Memory Book Ideas (pinterest.com)
- Daily Post (wordpress.com)