Do you hug hurt and enshrine it in your memory book? Not good. Emotional Fitness Training Exercise Number Five suggests a better way.
Psycho-babblers encourage hugging your hurts closely and indefinitely, particularly those from you childhood . It started with the Inner Child movement and spread like wild-fire after a prolonged drought.
Why? Mainly, because we all have a hurt inner child. Some have been battered, bruised, sexually assaulted, starved for love; most have just suffered the slings and arrows of good enough parenting. Hugging either kind however, keeps you from living the good life.
What to do? Stop hugging the hurt and embrace the good. Those who survived any holocaust lived better lives when they put the horror behind them. Not easy to do, but vital in order to take charge of your life and stop being victimized by your past.
A word of warning about some therapy particularly ongoing talk therapy. It leads to hugging the hurt and not letting it go. Many think such work is useful, but the research shows only up to a point. The most important thing is making sense of why bad things happen and then to move on by embracing the good.
This exercise asks you to pay special attention to those responsible for all you have or are right now. Some gave a great deal, others could not. Each gave according the what they had been given.
If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.
Thick Naht Hanh
How to practice this exercise: The most powerful way to honor past gifts is to focus on a memory of one person from your past who gave the gift of caring. You can honor the gift from a different person each time you do the exercise.
You honor past gifts by taking a calming breath, shutting your eyes, and recalling a time you and the person spent together when you felt cherished, cheered on, or otherwise nurtured. Such times are gifts of caring. When you honor such past gifts, you give yourself the caring all over again.
Your memory book has gifts of caring; otherwise you would not be seeking to improve your ability to care for yourself. If you have trouble caring for yourself as you should, perhaps like many others those who cared you were also abused in one way or another. You can dwell on the hurt or on the good. Remembering the good you have been given is healthier.
God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.
Parenting tip one: Build as many good memories with your child as you can.
Parenting tip two: Stop trying to make happiness a goal. Better to teach acceptance of life as being full of good times and bad times.
Parenting tip three: Help your child exploit strengths and live with weaknesses. Every human has both. Studies show that more than love, children want praise for what they do well and they want to do well in the things that matter in their world. The praise must be realistic and feel right to the child.
Parenting tip four: Teach manners and practicing kindness. Both will get your child further in life than academic or atheletic skills.
Parenting tip five: Promote the idea that no one controls all that happens. There are blessings, miracles, good luck and bad luck. Our job as humans is to do the best with we can and accept what we cannot control with as much grace as possible.
BE KIND TO ME
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Practice Kindness Videos (youtube.com)
- How Kindness Benefits You (.randomactsofkindness.org)
- Teaching Children to Practice Kindness (about.com)
- Daily Post (wordpress.com)
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.
To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
DAILY PROMPT In Due Time: What’s your next, most pressing deadline? Are you excited, stressed, or ambivalent about it? What’s the first thing you’d like to do once you’re done with it?
Having be able to retire from a paid job, my deadlines are of my own. Most related to efforts to promote EFTI. Doing this free 101 course gives me a daily deadline, and what will I feel when it is over? Relief, but a bit of pride.
Two other deadlines loom. One is beyond my control – my end. The end of EFTI is also beyond my control for it will happen due to cognitive decline.
My regrets? I have few for my life as a whole. I have been blessed or lucky which ever best explains to you the course of your life.
More regrets for the end of EFTI. Mainly that I have not found a legacy keeper for EFTI and that I was not able to turn it into a profitable business. I did the best I could given who I am and what I have had to work with and EFT has enlightened some and definitely let me live the good life.
That said I am still trying to find some legacy keepers or investors to make it profitable. It does take some money to make money. Interested? Let me know.