Apparently, the rates of clinical depression have increased since Trump took office. Sad, but even sadder are the increases in hate talk and fear-mongering that are now every present in all news. I would worry less if such increases did not lead of the more unstable to acting violently. either against others or the self. Both remaining silent or and joining the ranting are forms of colluding with the hate. What to do? Try these tips.
EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIPS
Tip one: Remember that hurt seeks affirmation. Your hurts are magnets drawing you to others you perceive as hurt in the same way. As a woman I have been groped on the subway. Makes me more attuned to victims of more than groping. But rape is not the same as a grope.
Tip two: Rating hurts helps. In the above example, a grope equals a five on a ten point scale of hurt. Best response – protesting at the moment, than letting go. Verbal or sexual harassment is my idea of a six and needs you to take personal action. Anything above a six is probably criminal or violent and you should protest even if you are not the victim.
Tip three: A statue of limitation is also helpful. Some of my ancestors were Celts. The Romans started killing and enslaving them, then along came the Christians who finished the job. Should I hate all of Roman descent, all modern-day Christians?
The powerful black tribes in Africa enslaved and sold blacks first to the Portuguese and then to the rest of Europe and eventually to white Americans. Should those tribes be outlawed now?
One of my ancestors was a shipwrecked sailor who made it ashore in the late 1600’s. He may have killed Indians; I am sure he kept slaves as he sought a new life a new land. Should I be hated for his behavior.. Should Thomas Jefferson be pilloried and hated because like many of his time, he owned slaves? Should he be written into history as someone as evil as those who actually captured and sold their fellow beings into slavery? Logic says no; but many still hate and feel justified in doing violence on that basis.
Tip four: Recognize and rate your flawed behavior. Is letting go of your anger with words the equivalent of beating someone up? If you are hurting others, particularly physically or engaged in criminal behaviors; you should be feeling bad about yourself.
Tip five: Improve your ability to forgive yourself and others. Once a day, make a conscious effort to forgive those who have hurt you and then to forgive yourself. Here is a post about forgiveness and letting go.
Tip five: Strengthen your self-soothing skills. My easy Emotional Fitness Exercises will help you do that. For a quick introduction go here Emotional Fitness Exercises.
Tip six: Set both a mission for your life, and SMART Goals for living the best everyday life possible. Practicing Kindness is the healthiest mission. Get my e-Book Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals . It costs less than a movie and lasts a lifetime.
Tip seven: Work to improve your critical thinking skills. Look for logical fallacies in your thinking as well as in other people’s thinking. Try finding at least three fallacies a day. The Fallacy Ref adds a bit of humor to improving critical thinking and will help you learn more about false logic.
Tip eight: Whether face to face or posting on social media, mind your manners. Say what you feel needs saying, but never say it mean.
Thank you for all you do
Remember to share all you find of value on the internet. All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.
Links of Interest
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- About Emotional Fitness Training (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much. Take their advice and mine carefully. Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart. Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others. As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.
Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors
If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here; I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what like me. Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability, Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense. If you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.