Do you go with the flow for fear of being swept away? Do you walk where others have set the path? Not bad, but the end might not be what you want.
Want the good life? Who doesn’t? All the research and all the sages of the ages, know this truth: All paths lead somewhere, but to get to the good life, you need to walk the path of kindness.
Moreover, the research also shows that all people want to do the right thing. The problem? How the right thing is defined. Religion is a good example. The Golden rule of most religions promotes treating others as you want to be treated. However, many religions define others as saved or damned, us or them. Such definitions have promoted killing in the name of God. Not kind.
Religion is a good example. The Golden rule of most religions promotes treating others as you want to be treated. However, many religions define others as saved or damned, us or them. Such definitions have promoted killing in the name of God across most of human time. Not kind.
What to do? Follow these tips.
Emotional Fitness Training Tips
Tip one: Know that you will automatically divide people into groups that define you and the other. Doing so is a primitive safety factor carried in all human genes. The stranger coming into the circle of your campfire could be saint or sinner, killer or healer. Safety lay in caution.
Tip two: Once hurt, twice shy. When a person from a different group hurts you, the group as a whole becomes tainted; another genetic conundrum. Also, what the experts call a fallacy or mistaken belief. In the case of once hurt, twice shy the fallacy is one of generalizing.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary to generalize is “to make a general statement or form a general opinion; especially: to state an opinion about a larger group that is based on a smaller number of people…”
Tip three: Learn to spot twisted thinking in others and in yourself. Personal desires twist everyone’s thinking; which is why Emotional Fitness Training demands partnering heart and brain. T
he more you know about twisted thinking, the better you code reality which is essential if one is to act wisely. Here are some examples of the common ways we twist our thinking.
I pursue sharpening my thinking skills in two ways. The easiest ways is looking for examples of the above in social media.
The second way is to take opposing viewpoints in arguments whether I believe the opposition or not. That is why many think I am a Right Wing Conservative and others a far out Leftist, and a few others a Libertarian. Mostly I try to be an independent thinker and vote issues not labels.
The younger the child, the more s/he is driven by her feelings and her own thoughts. Once a child has learned to read, s/he has become more capable of controlling emotions so his or her acts are more thoughtful. However, true critical thinking comes with puberty which explains why teens become critical of adults and sometimes engage in what I call Gotcha Wars and describe in my eBook of the same name.
As the teen years are entered, actively use social media to teach your child how to untwist his or her thinking.
This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt The Road Less Traveled: Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded. One of my life changing moments was when I finally realized Santa Clause could not possibly fill every child’s stocking by flying across the skies in sleigh drawn by reindeer. What was one of
One of my life changing moments was when I finally realized Santa Claus could not possibly fill every child’s stocking by flying across the skies in sleigh drawn by reindeer. What was one of yours.
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PS. Remember my newest eBook Cross Train Your Brain with 12 Easy Emotional Exercises is free only until the end of February. Go to the sidebar to download a PDF.
LINKS OF INTEREST
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- About Emotional Fitness Training (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)