What’s In a Name? Does Yours Fit You?

Caring parents put a lot of thought into names for their expected children. Fact: how the child feels about the name may not be what the parents planned on.


Today’s Word Press Prompt  Say Your Name suggested this: Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

As a therapist and  the founder of Emotional Fitness Training, Inc. I ask people to tell me about their names.  Also, I  and long ago created the above What’s In Your Name Poster Coach before Word Press asked its questions.

Names, for better or worse, shape our identity and awareness of who we are or are not. The more self-awareness, the stronger our emotional intelligence.

Emotional Training Tips

Tip One: Answer the questions on the Poster Coach.

Tip Two: If you don’t know the story of how your parents chose your name, find it out if you can. I was named for my mother who wished she had been called Vaughan.  Moreover, there was also a family tradition of naming the first-born son for his father, so she morphed that into naming me for her.

Tip Three:  Rate your happiness with your name. 1 is hate it, 2 is it is okay, 3 happy with it.

Tip Four: If you hate it, try changing it. I switched from Vaughan to  Katherine when I started graduate school and no one knew me by Vaughan. That morphed into Kathy which wasn’t my preferred name. I say Kathy as a petite and cute blond, not a gangly, mousy-haired woman of just okay looks. But I was extremely happy to be rid of Vaughan, so Kathy was okay.  Eventually, I became Katherine professionally and mostly Kat among friends.

Tip Five: Changing your name is not always successful, and as the Poster Coach notes, I have learned to be called by many names and no longer mind. In fact, I even like Vaughan lots more than when I was growing up. What matters is liking yourself, not  what you are called. And I have aged into liking me. Hope you do the same.

Parenting tips

Tip One: Pick a child’s name carefully. My family picked a common first name and a family name as the middle name. That allow an easier choice if the child wanted to change what s/he was called in adulthood.My brother John was known as Hamilton in our family, but he made sure the rest of the world called him John.

Tip Two: Make sure the child knows why you picked their name.

Tip Three:  Make it clear a name is just a name and as Shakespeare noted, “A rose by any other name smells the same.”  That is the first step in protecting you child from the slings and arrows of name-calling.


If you have been following my Goal Setting Posts, you know I am in the midst of trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.  As I will be 80 next year, time significantly reduces long-term planning.

I want to leave some part of EFTI behind, when I cannot nurture it, The SMART goal exercise made me facc the fact that the best place to put my efforts was in publishing more eBooks and paperback books. I hope to get a new book out each month starting in March.

I have spent revising and formatting January my 12 Easy Exercise book in PDF format.  Here is the cover, and it will be published tonight or tomorrow. I will offer it as a free download for two weeks.


As I have worked on this one, I developed a template that makes rewriting or organizing books easier or so I am hoping.

February, I  plan to learn how to format my books for Smash Words and Amazon. March will be formatting a book for Create Space or a similar paperback producer. Wish me well.  the lottery all this would be easier, but as working on stuff like this keeps me feeling productive and useful, I am grateful. .

Winning  the lottery  would make all this easier, but as working on stuff like this keeps me feeling productive and useful, I am grateful.

I was also reminded to look at what I wanted life to be like. Family and friends matter most to me, in the long run, then comes EFTI.

What does this mean?  In terms of my blog, I am  posting less as I work harder on getting eBooks out.  I will work to post at least once a week and possibly more. I am tryin to figure out how to get a post up using some of my Poster Coaches in an hour or less.  If you have subscribed to my blog, you will get an update when I post.


Thank you for all you do.  Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)




  1. My mom named me Darlene just because she liked it. But my middle name is Dale after Dale Evans. My cowboy dad and his cowboy’s wife, my mom,were huge fans of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. I like my name, although when I was a child I wished it was Shirley (after my favourite teacher)

  2. that is such a great post about our name…I have disliked my name my entire life and remember asking my mother if I could change it when I was 7…she declined, my name never felt like me and when it was called I would cringe… I never knew what I would want to change it to until it was told to me in a dream, to which I shared with my aunt ( my mother is passed) and she told me it was my great,great grandfathers name and also my great uncle… The name fits me perfect and I feel like me now… My dad recently told me he wished he would have thought of it and that he loves it much better. I am in the process of legally changing it. So fun to read your post about it.

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