Many factors  determine who we are and how we act as people.  Our clothes are but one. Our style, however, is an indicator of our #emotionalintelligence. 

Zen tale about how you dress.

Clothes make the impression and impressions matter.

This post was inspired by this Word Press Daily Post Prompt:  “Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.”

My answer in terms of clothes: At home, I stay in comfy PJ-like clothes. These are often the ones I wear to sleep  when the weather is cold. I also hike, run about town and go to the gym in these clothes.

When I visit a place sacred to others, I dress with respect.

At times one must dress for safety.  Cold out, I look like a Polar Bear. Visiting  Iran, I will don a Burka.  When I ride a horse I wear jeans and a comfortable top, but also boots and a helmet.

I dress to further my goals. If I am making a presentation, I dress for the presentation’s audience.  My public relations picture is prettier than most candid shots.

emotional intelligence thoughts

Clothing style is how we  dress for us; tyle is also how we say to the world  in any number of ways: “This is me.”

Teens are still finding themselves; explains why e teenagersare  so obsessed with dress and finding their “style.” When I see a teen in falling down pants, I smile indulgently, when I see grown men dressed that way, I want to sneak up behind them and give a yank. Instead, I shake my head and in my cranky old lady self-talk, I say, “Grow up.”

Same thing happens when I see Dennis Rodman current the world’s  most clueless aging adolescent struting his stuff on the media. I am referring to his  promoting a vile and cruel dictator but suspect he is really promoting himself.  Wonder where he would be today had he been born African American in North Korea.

Okay, apologies for getting derailed with a Cranky Old Lady thought. Back to questions of style and you.  As most of us want to get along in the world, we  generally have several styles. Is the real me comfy or cranky old lady, daring mounter of horses, stand up speaker? How about the  pictures I carry in my head of a younger me?  How about the me others see?

As another aside have you seen me as expert in the audience on OprahI was dressed and coifed by Norton’s public relations person.  Hate that hair do and it cost Norton $600.00. The public relations person had a crush on the stylist.

More importantly, my stand up style did not please Oprah.  She brought me down and never invited me back. Sigh.

As I have made known among my readers I have two learning disablities: Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia, so in addition to the “expert” me, there is stupid me making stupid mistakes no mattter how I am dressed or how hard I try to be a perfect me.

Who is the real me? All of them are me or part of me and the sum of all make up who I am, even Cranky Old Lady who is an extension of Cranky Young Lady, expert me, and, of course, stupid me; but there is also kind me, caring me, hard working me, wifey-me, Mom-me, Grannykat-me, and many others. 

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: About presentation and dress. Style yourself for your audience and according to your goals.  As much as I love the Zen Story, thank you Gil Green Facebook friend for sharing that one, the fact is clothes tell a story and who you are and who you are is part of selling your goals.  Thinking about your audience and how you present to them is respectful, kind, and emotionally intelligent.

The Zen Master made an enemy. Or at least that was more likely than not. He might have done better at feeding the poor by using his power,  dining with the rich man and then collecting a donation for the poor.

Tip two: Remember, your style reflects who you are, but your style’s outward presentation is only part of who you are. The most sacred you, the you that needs nurturing and protecting is the you that knows what matters and that does not mean what matters most to you.

Sorry, you matter, but you not the center of the universe. When you act like you are, the universe suffers but so do you. Practice caring and sharing, suffer less, enjoy more, and feel better about yourself.


You have attained a degree of emotional intelligence when you dress for the occasion and your audience.  Doing so says you have stepped out of you, out of needing to shout to the world, “This is me.”  Your “flexible me” is a more authentic “me” and you are moving toward  the emotional intelligence A-list. Congratulations.

For all you do to share and care, thank you.  If you like what I say “clap your hands and show it” meaning share, like, or comment.



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  5. This shows us your style.. and I think it is good you think of your audience. I tell this to my son everyday when he is doing his work in class…. “the teacher is your audience…please- him or her.” I think being a cranky old lady is good; I am one too… and I am trying not to be…so much.. My point is sometimes you got to be your own audience too…I tell this to my son as well.

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