What Do You Want? Continuing the SMART Goal Series

Take a moment to enjoy this, then  think about the quote. Wondering is fine,  but not when you want or need to get somewhere specific.                                                            Beauty rocks and roots (2)
Setting a goal evens the odds you will reach not just a destination, but the one you want. The more specific you are about what your destination, the  better the odds. Which is why the first SMART goal step calls for setting a specific goal.

Think about trying to visit a  friend or loved one who has moved to a different state.  You won’t find him  just by knowing the  state or city he has  moved to.  You will need to know the street where he lives, the house number, and perhaps an apartment number.  Moreover, you will get there quickest if you have a map of the area and the route marked out. That is the meaning of specific as applied to a SMART Goal.

Emotional fitness training exercise

This and the  next four posts will follow me as I put  EFTI’s SMART Goal for 2916 in writing. This post is about being specific.

If you have just started reading this series, please take the time to start at the beginning.  The links are at the end of this post. After this post will come how to measure progress, the actions I need to take to get to my goal, a reality check and the time frame for reaching success or changing the goal.

Getting specific:  In the first of these posts, I stated my goal as, “Make EFTI financially viable so it would continue after I could no longer nourish it.  I figured if it was financially viable someone would buy it and keep it going.

When I did all the exercises  up to this point, it became clear this was the wrong goal; I probably win the lottery before EFTI became financially viable. The odds are too great and  my resources too small; moreover, the competition is large and well-financed. Big sigh, much frustration, and some sadness.

Fortunately, passion and love are part of why I nurture EFTI and  a pleasure I will not forgo despite limited  financial success.  I will muddle on.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said this about success: “To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”

I know his words reflect  my mission statement.  I have been lucky and  blessed for despite failures and flaws, I have lived my mission and  the good life is mine.

My mission  for EFTI has been to share specific knowledge I believed would  help people live the good life.  The idea that I might have something worth sharing  is not pure narcissism, although that obviously plays a part. But I do have some credentials that have gained me a modest reputation as a mental health expert.

  1. I’m a licensed mental health professional
  2. I directed innovative children’s mental health crisis teams in New York City before, during, and after 9/11.
  3. I have taught at two ivy league graduate schools for over thirty years if only as an adjunct.
  4. I am a published author.
  5. I have lead hundreds of workshops on how to get and stay emotionally strong and gotten thousands of positive evaluations from those attending my workshops.
  6. I have presented at over a hundred peer-reviewed symposiums and conferences here and abroad.
  7. I trained crisis teams for New York City’s Department of Mental Health after 8/11.
  8. I am learning disabled, which has given me grief but also, has made me do lots of thinking outside of the box; what some call creativity, but I also have a good enough brain that even with my learning disability I could get the education needed to move forward with my life.
  9. I had teachers who saw my brain and not my disability.
  10. I was blessed with parents who had little financial security but lots of love to give and great faith in my ability to succeed at what mattered.
  11. This quirk of my brain h sensitized me to needs of mental health consumers.
  12. Finally, my fourteen years as a foster parent caring for teens in trouble with the law tested and refined all that I learned in my own graduate training and as a therapist.

I started EFTI because my years as a foster parents almost destroyed my faith in the world of therapy.  Almost is key and eventually I realized the good was very good and the bad very bad.  As we all need help dealing with life, no matter what the  state of our mental health I founded Emotional Fitness Training, Inc. EFTI has three main goals:

  1. To  provide an everyday mental health  self-care exercise program
  2. To turn those who need more help than self-care  into educated consumers.
  3. To de-stigmatized the need for outside help with emotional problems.
  4. To make money doing good.

The good part has been accomplished, but making  EFTI a  financial success in the foreseeable future  remains  a dream. Facing that reality,  my goal for 2016 year is now much  smaller than last years; here it is:

To make or raise $5000 in order to publish 10 eBooks and 4 paperback books using Createspace.

 I need  the money for the following reasons:

  1. To pay for editing and proof reading to books before they are offered for sale.
  2. To pay for hands-on-tutoring needed so I can format the books
  3. To pay for hands-on-tutoring to upgrade the EFTI blog page and the EFTI store.

Whether this is an achievable goal remains to be seen. The next post in this series will deal with how to measure success. Then comes the Actions I need to take, then the reality check and finally the time frame for reaching my goal.


Thank you for all you do.  Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.


Links to the other posts in this SMART Goal setting series:

Critical Thinking Exercise

WordPress Daily Prompt suggested this: Unpopular  Tell us about a time when you had to choose between two options, and you picked the unpopular choice. Thanks for the great idea, Diamond Mike Watson!

Think about this: Popularity is highly over rated. Studies show the more friends the better, but actually only one or two true friends are needed to keep you emotionally healthy. Of course the big question is who is a true friend? Made me think of this EFTI Poster Coach. Hope you a little laughed and thought a bit.                       Advice about talking to the hard of hearing


These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)



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